What to do when you feel defeated?
According to the wise words of Elizabeth Kenny - "He who angers you, conquers you"... no one can make you feel less of who-you-are unless you allow him to. I am usually never a 'quote-paster' but I've been hoarded with depression lately. I hate it when thoughts linger on your mind unconciously and you find that you need a paste a smile on your face to hide the monster inside you. My smile is slowly peeling away and recently I let loose the monster inside me, which I regret. I yelled, I cried and spoke words out of anger... we all know angry words hold no base. Was it the situation that made me angry or the fact that control was slipping through my fingers.
I had a deep hard think about this point and I realised that I blew up because I lost control. Instead of beating myself silly for the next couple of months or years, I realised that I need a solution to the problem. The problem of the problem IS the problem. So as the quote above, I am going to relinquish control on the situation and instead, control myself. If I can control my mind, my emotions and obviously my words... I WILL be in control.
Even if that means that Dickface will screw over someone I love, I will not say a word.
Even if that means Dickheadface will hurt someone I love, I will not say a word.
Even if that means Dickheadface will get what he wants while he has Backup Plan B waiting quietly for him, I will not say a word.
Don't get me wrong, I am not a saint. Not even close to it. A bitch can't change her tone, as a leopard won't change it's spots.
I will stand from afar and curse him:
- Hope your penis curls up and dies!
- Hope your muscles turn into fat and you get tuckshop-lady-arms!
- Hope your hair-recedes early!
- Hope your penis shrinks, its probably already puny so any other shrinkage won't make a difference!
- Hope you get your heart broken and cheated on!
- Hope your teeth fall out from that blowjob you will give to a man!
- Hope your shitbox car breaks down on you while you are in the middle of nowhere!
So... that's a good start. I feel in control already. Control YOUR mind and you will control the situation. I like that.
That was an awesome rant, I actually feel much better. If in doubt, chant the curses above about who you hate and you'll feel instantly better too. God, I hate him so much... sometimes it shits me up the wall when I know that he gets what he wants... female attention. Even his OWN mother knows that he is a man-whore... imagine that! Your own mother knows how you whore yourself around and then leave a trail of crying girls while you move onto your next prey. You fucking dickface.
Oh shit... I'm losing control again. *pauses, closes eyes*
Sparkly Marlborough Sauvgnion Blanc in my frost glass... mmmm
Okay... *takes a deep breath* I'm okay.
Got a call today from Chitra, I have been doing makeup for her fashion shows for about 2 years now. It's always exciting to know that you can do a good job even if you've been out of the game for a while. Which gets me thinking... should I venture back into the land of cosmetics? It sounds glamourous but its far from it... it's chaotic behind a show and you are being pushed to do all sorts of stuff.
It's a good thought to think about for now... I'll definately revisit it soon.
According to the wise words of Elizabeth Kenny - "He who angers you, conquers you"... no one can make you feel less of who-you-are unless you allow him to. I am usually never a 'quote-paster' but I've been hoarded with depression lately. I hate it when thoughts linger on your mind unconciously and you find that you need a paste a smile on your face to hide the monster inside you. My smile is slowly peeling away and recently I let loose the monster inside me, which I regret. I yelled, I cried and spoke words out of anger... we all know angry words hold no base. Was it the situation that made me angry or the fact that control was slipping through my fingers.
I had a deep hard think about this point and I realised that I blew up because I lost control. Instead of beating myself silly for the next couple of months or years, I realised that I need a solution to the problem. The problem of the problem IS the problem. So as the quote above, I am going to relinquish control on the situation and instead, control myself. If I can control my mind, my emotions and obviously my words... I WILL be in control.
Even if that means that Dickface will screw over someone I love, I will not say a word.
Even if that means Dickheadface will hurt someone I love, I will not say a word.
Even if that means Dickheadface will get what he wants while he has Backup Plan B waiting quietly for him, I will not say a word.
Don't get me wrong, I am not a saint. Not even close to it. A bitch can't change her tone, as a leopard won't change it's spots.
I will stand from afar and curse him:
- Hope your penis curls up and dies!
- Hope your muscles turn into fat and you get tuckshop-lady-arms!
- Hope your hair-recedes early!
- Hope your penis shrinks, its probably already puny so any other shrinkage won't make a difference!
- Hope you get your heart broken and cheated on!
- Hope your teeth fall out from that blowjob you will give to a man!
- Hope your shitbox car breaks down on you while you are in the middle of nowhere!
So... that's a good start. I feel in control already. Control YOUR mind and you will control the situation. I like that.
That was an awesome rant, I actually feel much better. If in doubt, chant the curses above about who you hate and you'll feel instantly better too. God, I hate him so much... sometimes it shits me up the wall when I know that he gets what he wants... female attention. Even his OWN mother knows that he is a man-whore... imagine that! Your own mother knows how you whore yourself around and then leave a trail of crying girls while you move onto your next prey. You fucking dickface.
Oh shit... I'm losing control again. *pauses, closes eyes*
Sparkly Marlborough Sauvgnion Blanc in my frost glass... mmmm
Okay... *takes a deep breath* I'm okay.
Got a call today from Chitra, I have been doing makeup for her fashion shows for about 2 years now. It's always exciting to know that you can do a good job even if you've been out of the game for a while. Which gets me thinking... should I venture back into the land of cosmetics? It sounds glamourous but its far from it... it's chaotic behind a show and you are being pushed to do all sorts of stuff.
It's a good thought to think about for now... I'll definately revisit it soon.
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