Green-eyed Monster

Jealousy is a sick thing, isn’t it?

 

It’s not attractive, it’s not wanted and it is definitely not something you want to be inflicted with. But yet, jealousy is all around us.

I am a woman so I can’t say I know too much about how jealousy affects a man. I assume jealousy arises (for a man) when his pride and possessions are under threat. So, if another man attempts to chat up a man’s woman, he will get jealous… often at the perpetrator AND at the woman herself. 

For a woman though, many MANY things can lead to jealousy. Big things like your colleagues promotion at work to more smaller menial things like your friend having a nice looking top that you know you could never afford. It’s not that you hate anyone, or want to act violently against anyone, it’s just that women get jealous because that item/thing/person is not within grasp.

I experience these things daily. Just now, in fact. I was at the gym this morning in my usual cycle class and a girl who was cycling in front of me, looked really hot. I don’t mean “sweaty and wet looking” hot, this girl was your “flicking-her-wavy-hair-back-sultry-and-sexy” hot. I don’t mean to perve but she was wearing very small shorts and she had a very tight toned butt. It’s hard not to look because it’s aimed at my face from all the “mountain-riding-get-off-your-seat” sections of the cycle class. And just as the sun rises and sets, I got jealous. I was jealous of her hair, of her nice shorts, of her tanned tight body and of her “fresh-at-the-gym-with-minimal-looking-makeup” face. Now, I’m not stupid of course, I know she has make up on. These types of girls would have make up on but because she’s so hot, one just doesn’t notice it.  Then near the end of class when I was panting and wishing I was dead, she rode that bike like she felt no pain at all. Again, I was jealous.

And again, whilst driving to work today, I was so hungry that I was shoving Sao biscuits down my throat. I even had a couple of Oreos as well, but that’s my dirty little secret. At the red light as I was chowing down, the car next to me was driven by a woman who was silently chomping on an apple. This prompted me to look at the carb-filled snack I had in my hand compared to the doctor-approved snack in her hand. What do you know… I got jealous. I threw my biscuit back into the sandwich bag… I even tied a knot in the bag as a precaution to my wondering and hungry hands. 

I tell you, I can create jealousy from everything. How about this, last week I was walking down the road to buy lunch and walked past a young asian girl with great hair. The type of hair that tickles my fancy is not your everyday “sleek-shiny-straight-flat-hair”, no way. I like big hair, curly, wavy, straight… as long as it’s big. This asian girl had big curly waves and it looked awesome on her… perhaps even more awesome on me. But, I didn’t have long and naturally voluptuous hair like hers and therefore I wouldn’t be able to achieve the same results, with the least amount of products anyway. Jealous. I could’ve bombed a whole country with all the jealousy I was emitting.

 So anyway, lately I got jealous of Mr V spending time with the boys on our planned long weekend together. I know I have nothing to be jealous of… I just am. Maybe I am so accustomed to jealous, that when there’s nothing to be jealous of… I’ll find anything to be jealous. Sorta like a crack junkie who needs a hit…

But I need to be the bigger man here, I am going to be the awesome girlfriend I am so I allowed him to go on this trip and I am not going to be jealous. Camping, drinking, getting smashed and fishing with all boys, I don’t think I would enjoy it but I am sure he would. Stopping him from doing what he wants to do would just be an attempt to control his life, which I would never want to do. I’ve been controlled before in a previous relationship and it isn’t pretty. I like this guy way too much to create anything that might damage what we have.

What we have is so unique, so mature. I absolutely luuuuurve it :)

STAY AWESOME