"Ohhhh but I'm different... my boyfriend and I have been through thick and thin together... we survived all of highschool. We are sooooooo going to get married."
We've ALL heard this somewhere from some little teenage girl/guy in the midst of "first love". I don't buy it at all. And before you think of me as a cynical old lady... just remember that I have had 25 years of life... and thats probably 6 more years than a child of the above quote AND I was born sarcastic so forgive me if I might sound slightly very bitchy... okay forgive me cos I'm a bitch.
Well... what is this first love business? First love, apparently, is meeting someone for the first time and falling head over heels for them. In this split second, you picture 50 years of looking at the same face, producing this person's offspring and laying intimately with this body that will gradually increase in size throughout the years. People can't decide what career path they want in life BUT they can imagine a future with a person they barely know. So... we got that straightened out.
I think good relationships are hard work and it is the fruits of the hard work that make a relationship satisfying. "Perfect" first loves are never long-lasting. Some people take as long as three children to realise that they should've tested the waters alittle more. And here's another one of my points. Testing the waters. EVERYONE must test the waters before they take the giant leap in. Can you imagine if you married your "first love" bore them a child and realised later he likes his anus to be licked every full moon? Unless you like it too... it isn't really worth it. Testing the waters isn't cheating on your partner... because you are supposed to be single. Don't blame me though... try at your own risk. Basically, you are ensuring that YOU know who is good and who is not, who will teach you things and who will only rely on you.
I can't lie and pretend that I am only just a preacher... I was once the naive little girlfriend who quoted that sentence above.
If I could go back in time, I'd backhand myself to the ground.
What the fuck was I thinking?
Actually recently I came across an old mobile phone and was looking some old pictures. And there it was... a picture of the old flame. Most people would sit there and think of all the good times and perhaps there is this exactly picture hanging in a closet somewhere. BUT not me. I wanted to rip the phone in half, boil the remnants and spit on it for good measure. First love? Yes... that was my first love. It took me 4 years to finally see the light and so I want to help YOU cut your losses...
Don't be disheartened though. I am a romantic at heart... I enjoy candlelit dinners and midnight walks down the beach... assuming that I am not chased by some beach rapist while I'm watching the rolling waves. I say... have fun first and settle down later.... Why do you think parents stress all the time? Why aren't they out bumming in the city or meeting friends out for drinks? They have responsibilities that you won't ever have until you become a parent. So wait.....
And since we're near the end... I'd like to add something:
My "What I Ate Today" List:
- 3 handfuls of Nutrigrain (i looooooooooooooooove nutrigrain... the stuff is the best!)
- Can of minestrone soup
- 2 tubs of fat free yoghurt
- Potatoes and chicken
- Mentos lollies
- Milo
I think i'll go hang myself from somewhere high...
Fuck my life.......
Anyway..... ttyl
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