My ZERO tolerance for stupid people...

Hey... don't misunderstand firstly because I'm not discriminating against people who actually are "mentally challenged". I'm clearly pointing my fat finger at people who CHOOSE to be stupid... there is a massive difference here. I mean... I may not have the IQ of Einstein but come on.....are you serious?

Have you ever met someone who just can't do something simple? Take admin work for example... doesn't take a degree to know how to do it. I understand if you are dyslexic and can't differentiate your A's, C's and Z's but the majority of people CAN. Well Mr. Numbskull can't do administrative work.  It must be terribly hard to put 8 pieces of paper together, whack it into a folder and tick off a checklist. 

During my phone texting one particular day... I was questioned exactly THREE times on how to do the work. THREE times. 

Thats 2 minutes of MY life wasted at your hands. 

I'm going to cheer myself up at the GYM now...

SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!

First Loves Are For Amateurs

This blog entry should just be the title above - it says it all in a sentence. 

"Ohhhh but I'm different... my boyfriend and I have been through thick and thin together... we survived all of highschool. We are sooooooo going to get married." 

We've ALL heard this somewhere from some little teenage girl/guy in the midst of "first love". I don't buy it at all. And before you think of me as a cynical old lady... just remember that I have had 25 years of life... and thats probably 6 more years than a child of the above quote AND I was born sarcastic so forgive me if I might sound slightly very bitchy... okay forgive me cos I'm a bitch. 

Well... what is this first love business? First love, apparently, is meeting someone for the first time and falling head over heels for them. In this split second, you picture 50 years of looking at the same face, producing this person's offspring and laying intimately with this body that will gradually increase in size throughout the years. People can't decide what career path they want in life BUT they can imagine a future with a person they barely know. So... we got that straightened out. 

I think good relationships are hard work and it is the fruits of the hard work that make a relationship satisfying. "Perfect" first loves are never long-lasting. Some people take as long as three children to realise that they should've tested the waters alittle more. And here's another one of my points. Testing the waters. EVERYONE must test the waters before they take the giant leap in. Can you imagine if you married your "first love" bore them a child and realised later he likes his anus to be licked every full moon? Unless you like it too... it isn't really worth it. Testing the waters isn't cheating on your partner... because you are supposed to be single. Don't blame me though... try at your own risk. Basically, you are ensuring that YOU know who is good and who is not, who will teach you things and who will only rely on you. 

I can't lie and pretend that I am only just a preacher... I was once the naive little girlfriend who quoted that sentence above. 

If I could go back in time, I'd backhand myself to the ground. 

What the fuck was I thinking? 

Actually recently I came across an old mobile phone and was looking some old pictures. And there it was... a picture of the old flame. Most people would sit there and think of all the good times and perhaps there is this exactly picture hanging in a closet somewhere. BUT not me. I wanted to rip the phone in half, boil the remnants and spit on it for good measure. First love? Yes... that was my first love. It took me 4 years to finally see the light and so I want to help YOU cut your losses... 

Don't be disheartened though. I am a romantic at heart... I enjoy candlelit dinners and midnight walks down the beach... assuming that I am not chased by some beach rapist while I'm watching the rolling waves. I say... have fun first and settle down later.... Why do you think parents stress all the time? Why aren't they out bumming in the city or meeting friends out for drinks? They have responsibilities that you won't ever have until you become a parent. So wait.....

And since we're near the end... I'd like to add something:

My "What I Ate Today" List:

- 3 handfuls of Nutrigrain (i looooooooooooooooove nutrigrain... the stuff is the best!)

- Can of minestrone soup

- 2 tubs of fat free yoghurt

- Potatoes and chicken

- Mentos lollies

- Milo

I think i'll go hang myself from somewhere high... 

Fuck my life.......

Anyway..... ttyl

I am a 2011 slob.

Well it's 2011 already, in fact, it has rushed by so quickly that it's already June. June means half a year... And that means I'm half a year away from turning 25. Ok so it doesn't seem so bad to be 25 but I have accomplished nothing worthwhile. The lightbulb? Not me. Fatfree food? Not me. Fast drying nail polish? Not me either.

What I have accomplished though...is create a social Netball team in which I am very proud of. We call our selves HOMEBRAND and justly so. I think we are a very passionate team and can do really well with practise and a few broken limbs.

I am also proud of scoring a nice administrative position for a big gov agency. Working in gov is likened to having a never-ending golden bowl... Why do you think you can never score a job in gov? It's because people love it so much that they'll never touch the private sector ever again.

And I would be naked and dancing around the fire with thanks but unfortunately i am only here on a contractual basis with my end date being June 30. I am going to seriously miss this job... Unless that is... They recognize my awesome skills and extend the he'll out of my contract! Lol

On the flipside, my beauty therapist told me that I have a dry neck. Dry necks are bad because as your skin loses moisture... You will get wrinkles! Hence why you so tanned wrinkled-necked ladies running around - the sun being a major factor to contributing to wrinklyneckism.

Anyway train stop is coming up... Ttyl.

DUKAN Diet - day 8

So I'm being the usual Yvonne - the whole never sticking to anything for any long period of time. It brings me shame to mention that I have, in fact, indulged in souvlaki, noodles, pizza and bread. I couldn't help it because someone had a gun to my head and I was forced against my will...

Okay who am I kidding...! I am the only culprit here.

So here I am... Back on DUKAN diet day 2 once again. It's not so bad this time because my body is already used to it but I could be also the fact that it is nowhere as strict as I originally did it. I think veggie are okay.

Last night I pulled up my lazy socks and forced myself to go for a run around the block. 10 minutes into it... I looked at my timer expecting to find that I'd done myself proud with a 20 min run but alas... It is definitely a struggle to get back into the routine of exercise when you stop for a period of time. In my case, it was only 2 weeks.

Funny how people are different.

DUKAN diet - day 6

After six days of eating Nothin but protein... I finally gained the courage to weigh myself.

I officially weigh 58kgs and is exactly how I weighed in high school 5 years ago! Nice!

DUKAN diet - day 4

The "what have I eaten" list:
- can of tuna
- chicken ham
- souvlaki lamb

Souvlaki? Did I hear you correctly? Yeah that's right! My fourth day happened to be a Friday and Fridays are reserved for Mr V. After 3 days of restrictions, my body was crying out for something naughty. and well... Technically souvlaki is a meaty dish though Mr DUKAN must be rolling his eyes at my take of his rules.

The souvlaki snack was so savory and delicious that I nearly decided to quit and give up.

But fortunately, my low self esteem played it's cards and once again... I followed the DUKAN pathway.

DUKAN diet - day 2

The " what have I eaten" list:
- chicken ham
- natural yogurt
- tuna in springwater
- diet coke

So officially the second if the DUKAN diet and I'm already feeling the fatigue that comes with having no source of carbohydrates. Had training at head office today and the biggest highlight at each training is the delicious mini muffins that they bring in at roughly 10am... But unlucky for me... I had two days of training and both these days fall in my week of ATTACK PHASE which means absolute no Carbs.

Mr K ripped off a small crumb and gave it to me... Best thing I've tasted recently.

I feel woozy.

DUKAN diet -Day 1

My birthday has recently just past and I have to say that it was a delicious birthday. No, not a fun birthday because technically it was not fun... Birthdays aren't until past the age of group birthdays at Mcdonalds. It was delicious because it seems like the bulk of adult birthdays are food related. I had souvlaki after souvlaki and Chinese food after Chinese food... I was then a 24 year old with an epiphany! I received a DUKAN Diet book from Miss b for my birthday and decided that it was time in my life to take giant leap... Into the deep dark world where no Carbs can pass the mouth.

The "here's what I've eaten" list:
-Chicken ham x5 slices
-natural yogurt x1 small tub
- tandoori chicken pieces
-chicken drumsticks, eggs in soy sauce

How I felt:
I was extremely woozy for he whole day and terribly grumpy as he'll. Sittin at my work desk and looking at words that seem to blur before my very eyes. Not very hungry but feel healthier nonetheless.